Once upon a time, as I was walking quietly through the countryside of The Great South Land, I came upon a spectacle that I shall never forget.
There, among the rickety, grey slab buildings, browning clumps of grass and gnarled old gum trees, stood a glorious manor surrounded by emerald gardens trimmed to perfection.
I had stood for an age at the ornate wrought iron gates when a man asked if I would like to see inside.
We walked silently through the beautiful gardens admiring their design the statues and marble fountains before doing a tour of the manor itself.
Finally we settled comfortably into a casual parlour and my host called for tea and cake for both of us.
As I looked around the room I was totally shocked as while the rest of the home was impeccable, this room was a real shocker.
The floor was covered with old magazines and bits of chicken and food scraps and on a velvet lounge chair was a smelly pig munching down heaps of fast food and dribbling all over the place.
Its back legs were superbly carved from ebony and his hooves from the finest silver.
It was hard to hear yourself think over the noise of the football on the telly and the excited squeals of the pig when the game got exciting.
"His name is Percy and I owe him everything", my host said and went on to tell me that, "only a few years ago I was poor and lived in a house just like those in the surrounding village.
One day the bush fires swept through and devoured everything and Percy had to drag me out of the house as I was overcome with smoke.
As I sat crying at my loss Percy let out an excited squeal before rushing off to our little rubbish dump returning with yesterday's newspaper and the stub of a pencil.
Snuffling through until he found the share market page the sat in deep concentration for an age.
After a very long time he drew a circle around one of the companies and pushed the paper toward me with delighted grunts.
All I had left was the cash in my wallet and I really had nothing to lose so I went into town and bought as many of the shares as I could afford.
The very next day I sold them for a hundred times what I paid and Percy and I have been doing it ever since".
"What a beautiful story of love and loyalty", "did Percy lose his back legs saving your life ?", I asked.
He looked at me sadly and confided in a tearful whisper that neither had been burnt and that Percy's problem was caused by the fact that my host had such a love of crispy pork he just couldn't help himself.