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Matilda

Hilaire Belloc

Matilda told such dreadful lies,
It made one gasp and stretch one's eyes;
Her aunt, who, from her earliest youth,
Had kept a strict regard for truth,
Attempted to believe Matilda;
The effort very nearly killed her,

And would have done so, had not she
Discovered this infirmity,
For once, toward the close of day,
Matilda, growing tired of play,
And finding she was left alone,
Went tiptoe to the telephone

And summoned the immediate aid
Of London's noble fire brigade.
Within an hour the gallant band
Were pouring in on every hand,
From Putney, Hackney Downs and Bow,
With courage high and hearts aglow

They galloped, roaring through the town,
'Matilda's house is burning down !'
Inspired by British cheers and loud
Proceeding from the frenzied crowd,
They ran their ladders through a score
Of windows on the ballroom floor;

And took peculiar pains to souse
The pictures up and down the house,
Until Matilda's aunt succeeded
In showing that they were not needed
And even then she had to pay
To get the men to go away !

It happened that a few weeks later
Her aunt was off to the theatre
To see that interesting play
The Second Mrs. Tanqueray.
She had refused to take her niece
To hear the entertaining piece:

A deprivation just and wise
To punish her for telling lies.
That night a fire did break out -
You should have heard Matilda shout !
You should have heard her scream and bawl,
And throw the window up and call

To people passing in the street -
(The rapidly increasing heat
Encouraging her to obtain
Their confidence) - but all in vain
For every time she shouted 'fire !'
They only answered 'Little liar !'

And therefore when her aunt returned,
Matilda and the house were burned


Hilaire Belloc

     

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