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Grandpa Pencil's
Little Rhymes

Grandpa's Shorts
A collection of short satirical verse

 

Epitaph on Charles II

Here lies our soveriegn Lord the King
Whose word no man relies on,
He never said a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one.
John Wilmot

What is an epigram? a dwarfish whole,
Its body brevity, and wit its soul

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"I hardly ever ope my lips," one cries;
"Simonides, what think you of my rule?"
"If you're a fool, I think you're very wise;
If you are wise, I think you are a fool."

Richard Garnett


No truer word, save God's, was ever spoken
Than that the largest heart is soonest broken.
Walter savage Landor

Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool,
But you yourself may serve to sho' it,
That every fool is not a poet.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge


Swans sing before they die - 'twere no bad thing
Did certain people die before they sing.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Woman's Will

Men, dying, make their wills, but wives
Escape a task so sad;
Why should they make what all their lives
The gentle dames have had.
John Godfry Saxe

After such years of dissention and strife,
Some wonder that Peter should weep for his wife;
But his tears on her grave are nothing surprising,
He's laying the dust, for fear of it rising.

Thomas Hood


Here's to good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod,
Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots
And the cabots talk only to God.
John Collins Cassidy

Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

John Harrington


Who killed Kildare? Who dared Kildare to kill?
Death killed Kildare - who dare kill whom he will.
George Macdonald

He who in his pocket hath no money
Should in, his mouth, be never without honey.

unknown
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